Workshop of The power of Jealousy

1. Although jealousy is a powerful emotion, the effects can be nery harmful to ones self being, because jealousy can effect your normal personality, effect relationships with friends and family and can hurt you physically.

2. Yes, there is a link and it does show at the end of the first paragraph.

3. The cause is jealousy.

4. The effects are cause depression and mood swings, destroy relations and also affect a persons physical system.

5. I don't think that the audience is very clear, she could just be talking in general to everyone. The audience targeted needs to be mentioned somewhere.

6. I can not see any counter arguments, unless I am missing them. You may need to go through and add this information somewhere.

7. I though the title was very eye catching, I wanted to see what kind of power jealousy had.

8. The leas sentence is "When it comes to ones emotions, sometime they can be difficult to control." I think the word jealousy needs to be in your lead line.

9. In the last paragraph I think you need to start it with the word Jealousy instead of Emotions, this would reconfirm what you have said. The topic is jealousy not emotions. Maybe say "not letting the demon known as jealousy."

10. Each paragraph does touch on the effects, in paragraph 4 maybe mention the word stress somewhere. The paragraphs flowed pretty good.

Over all the paper is pretty interesting, good topic. Double check your spelling and I think you may have used a couple words that are not actually words, i am not sure that un-jealous is a word?

Good Luck on your final draft. Hope this helps.